What Hurts the Most
by hotpinkcupcake
Summary: One-Shot. 'It's been two years,' he thought, 'two years since she left.' Songfic to the song What Hurts the Most by Rascal Flatts. Disclaimer: I own nothing. Please R&R, thank you.


**A/N** Hey everyone! I hope everyone's life is great and treating you kindly, and I hope you all have what you've dreamed of. :D This is my first iCarly fan fic, and songfic…wait…it's my first One-Shot too. Wow, this fic is very special, lol. Anyway, I've always shipped Seddie, so I decided to write this. I thought, _'Hey, why not?' _I'm not gonna lie, I almost cried while writing this, oh who am I kidding, I did shed a few tears. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you. :)

* * *

Freddie Benson was driving his truck in the streets of Seattle, with no particular destination in mind.

It was raining, but he didn't care. He liked the rain, maybe because she liked it too. It was as if she was next to her every time it rained. God, he missed her.

'_**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out.'**_

'_It's been two years_,' he thought, '_two years since she left_.'

A tear threatened to fall down his cheek.

Memories of that day began to take over his mind.

_Sam and Freddie were both in Carly Shay's apartment. Sam and Freddie had been arguing for the umpteenth time that week. This time, however, was different._

"_I cannot believe you kissed Sarah Fickelman!" Sam practically screamed at Freddie. _

"_Why are you so mad at me?! You're the one that broke up with me, remember?!" Freddie exclaimed. _

"_Guys, can we just-"Carly was interrupted. _

"_That doesn't give you the right to go ahead and kiss any girl that walks through the halls of Ridgeway!" Sam shot back,"Especially someone like Sarah Fickelman."_

"_That absolutely gives me the right to kiss any girl that walks through the halls of Ridgeway, especially someone like Sarah Fickelman!" Freddie yelled back,"We're not dating anymore, I can kiss anyone I want!"_

"_Ahhh!" Sam yelled in frustration, "You're unbelievable Fredifer! I'm out of here!" Sam got her jacket and headed for the door. _

"_Fine with me!" Freddie shot back. _

"_No, Sam, wait." Carly tried to go after her but she just slammed the door behind her. Carly turned to Freddie, "You need to go after her, Freddie. She was really upset."_

"_No, Carly. She was way out of line."  
_

"_Freddie, you have to understand her. She's just jealous that you kissed Sarah."_

"_I don't care, Carly. She went too far this time."_

Those memories haunted Freddie for months. It was because of that argument that Sam died. She was so upset that she didn't see a car coming her way as she was crossing the street, eventually running her over, killing her.

Freddie finally let a stream of tears come down his face

'_**I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though  
goin' on with you gone still upsets me.'  
**_

He wiped the tears off his face, and after simply driving around for hours, he turned his left blinker on. He knew where to go.

'_**There are days every now and again  
I pretend I'm okay  
but that's not what gets me.'**_

Freddie arrived at the cemetery. By then, it had stopped raining. He knelt down in front of her gravestone and touched the engravings with such delicacy, as if it were Sam. More tears ran down his face.

SAMANTHA PUCKETT

1994-2012

_A Lovely Friend and Daughter_

'_**What hurts the most  
was being so close  
and havin' so much to say  
and watchin' you walk away.'**_

"Oh, Sam," Freddie managed to say, in between sobs, "If I hadn't argued with you. If I'd gone after you like Carly told me to…."

He couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence.

'_**And never knowin'  
what could've been  
and not seein' that lovin' you  
is what I was tryin' to do.'**_

"I never told you how much you meant to me," he said, practically whispering, "I never told you how much I cared about you, how much I loved you, how much I still love you"

'_**It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go  
but I'm doin' it.'  
**_

"You know," he let out a small chuckle, "Carly met this guy. He's a really funny guy. I'm sure you would approve of him." More tears were streaming down his face, wishing she were here to meet him.

'_**It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret  
but I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
that I left unspoken.'**_

"I really miss you, Sam," he wept.

'_**What hurts the most  
is being so close  
and havin' so much to say  
(Much to say)  
and watchin' you walk away.'**_

"I wish you were still here, with me."

'_**And never knowin'  
what could've been  
and not seein' that lovin' you  
is what I was tryin' to do.  
Oh yeah'**_

"I'm sorry," he managed to say.

'_**What hurts the most  
is being so close  
and havin' so much to say  
(Much to say)  
and watchin' you walk away.'**_

"I just hope that, someday, you can forgive me."

'_**And never knowin'  
what could've been  
and not seein' that lovin' you  
is what I was tryin' to do.'**_

He stood up and kissed his right hand, then touched her gravestone. It was the only way he could kiss her.

'_**Not seein' that lovin' you  
that's what I was trying to do.'**_

"I love you, Sam," he said, "I always will."

With that, he left, unaware that an angel named Samantha Puckett was watching over him.

'_I love you too, Freddie. I always will.'_

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Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! :) Don't forget to R&amp;R, otherwise, I'm going to assume I suck at writing (I do). Seriously though, I don't know if I should write more iCarly fan fiction, but I know your reviews will convince me to write more, right guys? ;) Thanks again. Have a stupendous life everyone. :D


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